Berthaday (2016)
‘Berthaday 2016’ (2023) by Yuki Kihara. Plastic doll, fabric and mixed media. 380mm (H) x 170mm (W). Part of ‘BERTHA’ (2023) exhibition by Yuki Kihara curated by Natalie King. Commissioned by the Powerhouse Museum Ultimo, Sydney. Courtesy of Yuki Kihara and Milford Galleries, Aotearoa New Zealand. Photo courtesy of Gui Taccetti.
“The indefatigable Anthony Carthew organised the show at the Sydney Opera House. Some considered it sacrilege that we were dressed as three Marys with the bleeding heart but it was water off these ducks’ backs and I’ll tell you why.
I was born and raised in the Mormon Church. I grew up meeting all the usual milestones, like baptism, priesthood, temple, Mormon high school (Church College, Hamilton, NZ), endowment (Templeview, Hamilton, NZ), two-year mission abroad (Boise Idaho Mission), Mormon University (BYU, Hawaii).
I was serving in the Bishopric (lay member counselor to a lay preacher, called a bishop) when I was requested to counsel a woman whom I had known since childhood. I felt uncomfortable having to do it but the bishop had returned to the US mainland during the summer holidays and I was the only one on call. I don’t know why, but after our counselling session (I was not a trained or qualified therapist). I had had been fighting same sex attraction for as long I could remember, since I was a child, in fact.
Earlier in that same summer, I had had my first gay sexual encounter. The guilt from that and the burden of hypocrisy I felt whilst counselling a good friend in an ecclesiastical position of counsellor was overpowering. A few days later, I was on a plane home from Hawaii back to Auckland. I had decided that the Church had to be all true or, if one thing were false, then not true at all.
I left the Church. Many Fa’afafine have been treated unkindly in the name of religion. Only recently are we starting to be documented in any meaningful way. Not just in academia but in popular culture as well. Our Tagata Pasifika Eaten Alive show is available for viewing on YouTube.
I am still respectful of the Church and the role it plays in my family’s lives. I still attend the funerals of my beloved aunties and uncles and happily sing the hymns at the top of my vast lungs. My aiga are strong in LMS/Presbyterian, Catholic and Lotu Momona (Mormon) religions. I honour that right.”
-BERTHA aka Harold Samu